Comments for Walking in the Valley of the Shadows

Comment on Christmas Eve 2009 by shadowlands1501

shadowlands1501 — Sun, 27 Dec 2009 01:49:22 +0000

What a sweet offer to want to be around a germ infested person!!! Thanks, Linda. It is the thought that counts and is a lot safer when it comes to the flu.

I was disappointed about not being able to carry out my new traditions, but the hardest part was thinking about my sister not being with her family. That was the worst because I knew that she would not comprehend why…

She is here now and she seems to be alright

These are the kinds of things that wear on me more than any flu.

Thanks again, my dear friend.

Happy New Year to you, Devoted Spouse and EmmyLou!!!!

Comment on Christmas Eve 2009 by croneandbearit

croneandbearit — Fri, 25 Dec 2009 22:04:47 +0000

I am so sorry you had to cancel and how difficult it must be for you to not be able to be onsite w/your sister – keep gargling salt water and pushing fluids and I hope and pray it’s not a bad hanging on type bug and you will have some quality time with your sister. Wish I lived closer to you – I would have done anything in the world to help. God bless and rest, rest, rest – get well!

Comment on Another Beginning, A New Tradition… by shadowlands1501

shadowlands1501 — Fri, 25 Dec 2009 00:18:41 +0000

Linda,
It is good to see you here. I check your site often, but the words are difficult coming even for a comment…you always bring a smile to my face and that is the greatest gift.

Yes, traditions must change with the dynamic of families…I find that families are like people…they are young, they mature and then they age…

My immediate family is in the aging department and it is hard to watch. Yet, it is in the wonderful memories made in by-gone days that make appreciation for the time together precious, especially when we are left here and they are onto new adventures in the heavens.

New traditions are difficult because there is no one else to think of, it seems. And, when things were so hectic, it was this time of life that we drew upon to get us through them…who could have guessed that we didn’t have those dreamed of days as the “Grandparent’s house” for all to come to….

Thanks, my friend for the smiles, the comments and your support…

Merry Christmas…

Comment on Another Beginning, A New Tradition… by shadowlands1501

shadowlands1501 — Fri, 25 Dec 2009 00:13:14 +0000

Hi Stepping thru,
Those were tiring and difficult days in the moment and now, they are the most cherished memories…it was worth it all.

Thanks for checking in…I am trying to write more but it isn’t coming to me easily…

Thanks for your support and your comments.

Merry Christmas!!!

Comment on Another Beginning, A New Tradition… by croneandbearit

croneandbearit — Thu, 24 Dec 2009 13:49:26 +0000

Hi sweetie – I haven’t stopped in for awhile but you are always in my heart. Traditions are hard because eventually we must change them as our circumstances and lives change. It’s hard especially because we have no choice in the fact we lose cherished members of our families – some far too early as with your dear Dan. My heart aches for you as you watch other family members go through difficult health issues – my own father died after having Alzheimer’s and it was awful. This year I lost mom and both an aunt and uncle. I really have no family left except for Devoted Spouse and for him I am thankful every minute of my day. We, too, enjoy going to services on Christmas Eve – it’s our quiet time to reflect on the real meaning of Christmas not the next morning of opening up gifts. You know, sweetie, it’s okay to just stand still when you need to. Only move forward when you want – movement can’t be forced. I am happy you are starting new traditions; I have come up with a few of my own. My Christmas wish for you is to find that balance between the old and the new where you can live a fruitful, happy life knowing you are loved and needed. Merry Christmas dear friend.

Comment on Another Beginning, A New Tradition… by steppingthru

steppingthru — Thu, 17 Dec 2009 04:13:28 +0000

I’m just checking in and see that you are back to writing. I don’t know the pain you are feeling with the loss of your precious Dan but can completely sympathize with all the blended family stories. There were times when Coach and I drove 10 hours to get his daughter and then find out her mother came to town the next day and could have brought her with her. We did what we thought was best. Today we still seem to do this juggling act trying to work around all the other families but we love the time we have with our kids and they seem to love all being together here in our home. I wish you peace this Christmas and know that your new tradition will bring you joy.

Comment on Another Beginning, A New Tradition… by Roads

Roads — Tue, 15 Dec 2009 20:11:37 +0000

Shadowlands,
It’s so good to see you writing again.

I agree with you about traditions, and I’m not always sure why we always seem to want to create them. It’s not good to do the same things the same way every year — until, perhaps, suddenly we can’t do them like we used to any more.

Good luck with finding some new ways to make the most of Christmas. The holidays are hard to get through, but it’ll soon be January, and just getting there is a huge achievement.

Comment on Another Beginning, A New Tradition… by shadowlands1501

shadowlands1501 — Sat, 05 Dec 2009 16:36:39 +0000

Linda,
It is good to hear from you. I know that your loss and the terrible grief that came calling to your heart is the most difficult to bear. It is the greatest kind of grief imaginable.

I have found many words of wisdom in your writing and your comments to me. Thank you so much.

Recently, as you suggested on your blod, I reread the comments made to me on this blog. It was a time of great insight . Thank you for your wisdom.

And in this comment, I found another “pearl”. The traditions that are made belong to us no matter the circumstance.

You are so right when you say that this is a painful and incredibly hard thing to do. Making new traditions will always be tied to the old ones.

Missing Dan will always be with me no matter the season or the tradition. I shall find a way to remember the reason for joy and take him with me as I embark into this new way of living without him…

Thank you for your kindness and generosity to me. I value it deeply….

Wishing you and yours a wonderful holiday season!

Comment on Another Beginning, A New Tradition… by shadowlands1501

shadowlands1501 — Sat, 05 Dec 2009 16:29:22 +0000

Thanks, Jonas. Yes, no matter how painful the reasons for new traditions, living must go on and joy must be found no matter how hard.

Thanks for your support.

Comment on Another Beginning, A New Tradition… by Linda

Linda — Sat, 05 Dec 2009 08:26:10 +0000

Hey there Shadowlands,

How much I could concur on your years of blended families and the feelings that accompany growing children in different households during the holidays – but that is not my task tonight. I simply want you to know that this thing of creating new memories, new traditions, is not easy. You know this all too well.

There’s something revealing about our new traditions, whether we know them beforehand or not. We have the unique opportunity to do things differently. Not that we would have wished for this, nor planned for these eventualities. But, here we are, and we are sometimes alone in our decisions about how our futures unfold. (We always were, ya know?) But, now, with our losses, we are compelled to view those days to come as something new, and if we are very, very fortunate, we can make them days lived out in our own visions. Whether we spend them alone, or just altered in terms of who is with us to share, they are ours.

New beginnings are exciting in ways. Remember when we were young and we waited for things to change in unexpected ways? Exciting. We’re not young, but change can still be exciting and plentiful in gifts from unknown sources.

I wish for you all the best of unexpected and exciting changes. Maybe you’ll see a sunrise that will mean something beautiful on Christmas Day. Maybe your Christmas Eve this year will be a time of quiet contemplation that will reveal an inner source of strength and contribution for the year to come. Maybe…you fill in the blank.

I think of you often. I wish you a Merry Christmas Eve, my friend.

Linda